Everything's heavy underground.
HomeCalendarFAQSearchMemberlistUsergroupsRegisterLog in


 A story im working on

Go down 
George Clooney

George Clooney

Posts : 132
Join date : 2009-06-21

A story im working on Empty
PostSubject: A story im working on   A story im working on EmptyTue Jul 14, 2009 2:59 am

This is still a work in progress and some of you may have already read it.
I ask that you bear with me and do your best to ignore my bad grammer. Let me know what you think so far. Very Happy
Also dont be afraid to abosolutly destroy it; I'm good with constructive critasism.

No title yet either

Aden's eyes slowly cracked open, then snapped them shut again against the bright lights of the room.

His head hurt.

"Hello?" he croaked weakly.

Not hearing an answer he slowly moved the sheets away discovering himself to be wearing a rather backless hospital gown. Aden got up, (trying to preserve as much modesty as possible)dragged himself to the door and tried it.

"Locked" he said in a slightly scratchy voice. He decided that perhaps he was just a in a private room and that the door was locked for his own comfort. He tried knocking, and then waited a good thirty seconds before returning to his bed and laying on top, trying to organize his thoughts.

No memories. He could not even remember what he looked like. Desperately he turned around and tried to view his reflection in the metal of the bed frame. He stared in silence at his dashing good looks, his two unequal eyes one blue the other gray, marred only by a scar running from above his left eye brow, jumping over his eye socket and continuing an inch and a half onto his cheekbone.. Slowly with the familiarity of his reflection bits and pieces of his child hood; running, playing, started to return, but for some reason most of his adulthood was non existent.

Sitting upright again he took a deep breath to calm himself.
Just inhale and exhale.

Now somewhat calmed he took another look at his surroundings, searching for anything he may have missed. Quickly he noticed that in the top right corner of the room from his bed, was a camera. Also In a chair nearby a pair of pants with a few holes in them and some old work boots.

He promptly put them on then spent the next two minutes waving and shouting trying to get the attention of someone who was hopefully in another room watching a monitor . Failing that Aden slumped down in defeat, deciding that perhaps patience was the best option.

Suddenly there was a boom so loud that the hanging florescent lights shook, splaying light all through the room in strange patterns.

Instantly his instincts took over as he dropped to the ground and looked towards the door, searching for the source of the noise. Following the loud bang was the distinct sound of gunfire rattling some distance away.

The gunfire seemed to be getting closer and steadily increasing in volume. Suddenly another thunderously loud boom. This one created a loud ringing in Aden's ears, simultaneously the door to the room broke off its hinges, smashing into the bed where he had been two minutes before. Aden waited for any further sign of danger.

When no one came through or otherwise approached the door, Aden's curiosity took the better of him. Straining his ears for any other sound in the otherwise silence since the door blew away he made a slow approach to the hole in the wall

Seeing his chance to escape Aden rushed out of the room and immediately slid on a pile of what he assumed was the lower intestine of some poor creature and fell face first into a bleak concrete corridor, with a medium sized scorch mark on the floor. Fire sprinklers going full flow in the places they hadn't been completely removed and the pipes pouring water onto the floor.

Quickly and silently rounding the corner the hall came to an abrupt end at an office door and Aden stood behind two armed men, dressed black as night equipped heavily with what looked like a full military getup, pointing there unidentifiable rifles at an unarmed rather pretty, woman they had cornered. In an office doorway
" I say we just get rid of her like all the others." said the first man.
She seemed to pale at his crude remark
"It don't sit right with me to be kille'n unarmed woman is all I'm sayin.", said the second
"With what their paying us, they could tell me to choke babies with my bare hands and I'd do it."replied the first.
“Aye, thats true.”
The womans eyes grew wider than should have been possible.

Slowly they started to advance on the poor frightened Girl. All Aden knew was that these two brutes were going to do terrible things to and unarmed, defenseless person, and that was all the reason he needed to instinctively rush up behind the first and twist his neck. Giving a resounding crack

Shocked at his own strength, Aden wasn't quick enough and the dead man fell to the floor alerting the second who spun on the spot turned and pointed his rifle at him.
“Oi! your going to pay for bustin up me mate!”

The woman, seeing a chance to escape, got up and ran right into the guard in her hurry causing him to lose his footing. Sizing the opportunity Aden made his move grabbing the barrel of the rifle and midway down the stock and tried to pull the weapon out of the hands of his assailant. The man held his ground and surprised Aden by pushing instead of starting a tug-o-war. As Aden's head slammed into the concrete he was dimly aware of the woman stopping to watch their struggle.
The black dressed soldier pressed his advantage and shoved the rifle to his throat in an effort to choke him. Aden held his grip firm but couldn't overpower the larger man. In this proximity Aden could smell his attackers rotten breath. See his reflection his dull black eyes. Being in such a desperate situation Aden burned his gentleman agreement and forever mentally bared himself from any kind of association with other more fair honest gentlemen and went for the cheap shot and kneed the man between the legs.
The larger man fell to his knees and gripped his sore spot. “Oi! You'll pay for that too!” He spoke in a much higher voice than his large frame should have been capable. Aden couldn't get much lower so he decided to kick the man while he was down, delivering a wicked hit right to the side of the head rendering the cheated man unconscious.

He turned towards the woman, who briefly flinched, and walked past her

She was slow to respond seeing the damage this creature had caused with nothing but his bare hands.

Aden knew the type of person to be a liability in a combat situation

"Wait!" she called out close to tears, "Take me with you, there are more of them!"
Aden stopped without turning. She would just get in the way he knew; Aden grimaced and started tomove on.
Seeing his reluctance the she called," I know where your things are!"

This gave great pause to Aden. She knew he had objects belonging to him, therefore she must have known at least something about where he came from or how he got wherever he was.
"Come with me" is all he said

She rose and followed

"Your things are in a secure storage room down this way, I have the key code for the door."

Down more of the same steel halls interrupted by the occasional office or storage closet, they walked peaking around corners whenever they got to one. Eventually the duo arrived at the end of a hall Where a massive steel door that took up the entire 7x7 foot wall. Banks have smaller vault doors.
"Open it"

She dialed in the code for the massive door
With a loud hiss the door slid open into the wall in 3 different directions making a Y shape as it opened.

Inside the door there was a dimly lit room with a couple different sized steal tables holding several objects along with shelves of what looked like random bits of junk and just about anything that could be found in a normal room:clocks, a crowbar, some old papers sealed in airtight containers, rods of metal in varying thicknesses and shades, even a large mixer and bowl.

“Your things are on the tables, waiting to be sorted and stored.”

On one table there was a pair of boots that seemed to fade a bit into the table. On another there was a set of what appeared to be military fatigues with the same fading properties and the boots, which Aden quickly put on discarding the gown that he had come to rather dislike because it itched.

On the second and larger table was the least impressive of the objects. Plainly visible was a set of gloves that lacked the semi-translucent qualities of the other parts.
Now this is more like it, Aden thought to himself.

putting on all of what he supposed was his he turned to the the woman who seemed if anything more apprehensive.

Aden supposed he was a rather impressive sight to behold, Fading into the wall at a tall 6'5, sleek faced and in his young thirties. He looked a bit like a specter moving fluidly from place to place.

For the first time Aden took in the womans appearance.

She had a small slim build with a narrow waist and medium sized hips . Wearing a plain gray suite normal for a receptionist.

Unnerved by his gaze and hoping to get him to look at her with a less calculating look she managed to squeaked out, “I'm Be..Beatrix” and did her best to give a smile.

Aden walked back out the vault door and spoke in a rough voice, “lets get out of here”.

He stopped about half way down the hall and turned his head slightly and muttered, “Aden”, and then motioned for her to take the lead.

It took another 10 minutes of cautious travel, running into numerous bullet ridden corpses in the hallway with Beatrix doing her best to not notice them, until they managed arrive at the exit.

Aden was beginning to feel like a soaked rat in a maze but the air coming from outside was warm, and he was happy to finally see the sunset's light reflecting off the thousands of shards of glass from what must have been a sheer front door, now destroyed from a previous explosion.
Realizing that Beatrix had lost her shoes somewhere. She let out another squeak when Aden scooped her up and carried her, fireman style. out the door.

When they were passed the glass and at a nice grassy lawn he set her on her feet.

Now that Aden was outside he could tell that this complex was even larger than he had originally thought. At least a square mile of hallways had to run through this single story building.

“It runs underground a few floors too...” Beatrix spoke noticing Aden's inspection. She directed him to a simple black car where she unwillingly gave him the wheel.

10 minutes later

"The only safe place I can think of right now is my cabin in the woods", said Beatrix interrupting the silence held since entering the car. This silence had been mostly to do with Aden trying to think things through since his waking: the attackers who ever they were were not after him, they had gone deeper into the compound than after larger targets no doubt. Aden didn't recognize his gear but there was no doubt in his mind that it was his.

"Thats as good as anything.", replied Aden suddenly remembering that Beatrix seemed to have been employed In that building, whatever it was, and so he asked her.

"The building is just a research lab a built in the middle-of-no-where, your standard evil genius lair really. I was just a secretary though so I have no idea what was going on in there.” replied thankful to have something useful to contribute.

Beatrix also admitted that all she knew of his presence there was that one night there had been a large beam of light in the middle of the woods that surrounded the research complex. When a team was dispatched to investigate They had found Aden laying on the ground unconscious and near death, suffering from numerous lacerations and a few unidentifiable punctures. His questioning left her feeling a bit sheepish and embarrassed that she knew so little.

Aden decided that he believed her, but was still frustrated by his own memories yielding no result.

Aden continued questioning her about the facility, while they continued to the cabin making no small talk, and pulling off onto a private drive in the middle of the thick woods. Aden learned that Beatrix had no living family or relations outside the complex, and she was she was struck with a sudden bout of sadness realizing that most likely that all the friends she had made in the few weeks she had been there,were dead and that she had no one left except a practical stranger who had little concern for her.

Aden left her to deal with her grief in private

When they finally arrived at her cabin it was near midnight. The cabin itself was not overly large but it had the essentials like a kitchen, bathroom, and dinning room, as well as one bedroom and a couch that Aden immediately plopped down on, seeming to disappear into the fabric with his strange gear.
Beatrix sarcastically told Aden to make himself at home, and went to change out of her still wet cloths; his own seemed to be water proof. Aden got up and made his way to the kitchen where he found an opened bottle of hard liquor and poured both of them a glass.

Beatrix came back into the room and took the proffered glass without a word and downed it in one gulp.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
A story im working on
Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
» The cattle dog story.
» Working overtime again
» Working A Face
» ANF Ride Report
» YAMAHA RESPONSE TO CBS NEWS STORY Wed Aug 05, 2009 1:30 pm

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
The Warren :: General Chat :: Creationism Corner-
Jump to: